It would be so much easier if we could ask God a question and receive an unmistakable answer—a voice from heaven, a dream, a vision, or even writing on the wall. Something that clearly came from Him and left no room for doubt.
Should I move? Should I change jobs? Should I marry this person or that?
All these pivotal decisions to make, and yet God rarely answers with an audible voice or a supernatural sign.
Or does He?
What if God has already given us the guidance we need?
All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 NKJV
But, we say, it’s too old. It was finished 2,000 years ago. How can it speak to me in this modern age? How can it help me with decisions that are so far removed from the life of the people 2,000 years ago?
For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. Hebrews 4:12 NKJV
Scripture is God’s Word to us. It is not just dried ink on a page—an outdated, antiquated message from the past. Through the power of the Holy Spirit, it is living and powerful. It discerns our thoughts and motives. It pierces the soul and reveals the secrets we even try to keep hidden from ourselves. And it will guide us in our decisions if we open its pages and dig for the gold.
No, it does not speak so easily to the demanding, the hasty, the distracted, or the casual reader.
And it often speaks contrary to what we want to hear…contrary to the desires of our hearts. And here is where the biggest difficulty in recognizing God’s will for our lives lies.
It reminds me of the story recorded in Jeremiah 42–43. After Jerusalem had fallen to Babylon, the remnant of God’s people in Judah feared Babylonian reprisal after the murder of Governor Gedaliah by the renegade Ishmael. They came to Jeremiah and asked him to seek God’s will for them. Should they remain in Judah or flee to Egypt to be safe from the Babylonians?
They vehemently promised they would do whatever God told them to do because they wanted to live according to His will.
After 10 days of praying and seeking God’s will, Jeremiah returned with God’s answer: “Stay in Judah and trust Me. I will protect you and you will prosper. If you flee to Egypt, the very disasters you fear will overtake you there.”
But the leaders immediately responded: “You speak falsely! The LORD our God has not sent you to say, ‘Do not go to Egypt to dwell there.’” Jeremiah 43:2 NKJV
When God’s revealed will didn’t match what they wanted to do, they denied it was God speaking and did what they wanted anyway.
Don’t we suffer from the exact same problem today? We say we want to do God’s will, but when we read the Bible and it clearly says something that we don’t like, we don’t agree with, we don’t want to do, we reject it. We explain it away. We quibble over the interpretation. We conclude the Bible is no longer relevant to modern society. We deconstruct and reconstruct it to fit our own ideas and desires rather than bringing our desires into submission to God’s Word.
That may be why the author of Hebrews quoted the Old Testament and introduced the passage with these words:
Therefore, as the Holy Spirit says: “Today, if you will hear His voice, Do not harden your hearts as in the rebellion.” Hebrews 3:7-8 NKJV
The problem is not that the Bible is too antiquated or too hard to understand for us to receive instruction from its pages in both the Old and the New Testament. The problem is that we harden our hearts because we don’t like what it says to us.
I like the way Christian evangelist, Justin Peters puts it: “Want to hear God speak? Read your Bible. Want to hear God speak audibly? Read your Bible out loud!”
If we come with humble, teachable hearts, God promises:
So is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. Isaiah 55:11 NIV
As we work our way through 1 Corinthians 7, we may discover that some of Paul’s counsel challenges our assumptions and personal preferences. The question is not whether God is speaking. The question is whether we are willing to listen and put it into practice in our own lives.
1 Corinthians 7: God First – Married or Single
Paul covers a variety of topics that all circle around marriage, singleness and sexuality in this chapter. But his central theme is: Growing our love relationship with God and serving Him with our whole heart is our top priority.
Jesus put it even more radically. Luke 14:26 NIV
If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.
To us today, this sounds offensive. It might have sounded offensive then too. Because it seems like Jesus is contradicting all the rest of Scripture. In actuality, He is using a common Hebrew technique of the day of overemphasizing something negative in order to highlight the real message. In this case, He uses the word hate to emphasize that our love and loyalty to Him must be so great that every other relationship is left so far behind as to almost seem like we don’t love them at all.
Paul echoes that very message in this chapter.
1 Corinthians 7:1-9: Marriage and Singleness are gifts from God
Contrary to the hopes of most parents today, Paul promotes being single as an advantage to the Christian lifestyle. He gives several reasons, but the main one is, it allows a person greater freedom to focus on serving God; especially when there is persecution and danger on every side for choosing to be a Christian.
It is much easier to be faithful to God when you don’t have to worry about the effect it will have on your spouse and children. In fact, your spouse and children can be used as weapons or tools by Satan, or by those who oppose Christianity, to get you to be unfaithful to God.
But Paul recognizes that being content as a single person in God’s service is a spiritual gift and we don’t all receive that gift.
I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that. 1 Corinthians 7:7 NIV
The sexual drive is powerful, and the devil knows how to use it to distract us, derail us, and sometimes destroy us. It was true in Paul’s day and much more so in today’s world.
Sex has become an all-pervasive part of society. We are bombarded with unbiblical views of sex in just about every form of media or entertainment, even the news. Pornography addiction is on the rise in both men and women. We have become consumed with our own sexual fulfillment, no matter how distorted or ungodly those desires are.
So what is a Christian to do who finds themselves unable to control their sexual desires? By all means, marry.
Marriage is not a concession of failure but a gift of God’s grace designed to provide companionship, intimacy, and mutual support. That is why one of God’s first gifts to humanity was marriage. He is the one who said it wasn’t good for man to be alone and created Eve to be Adam’s companion.
But the truth is, we don’t live in Eden anymore. We live in a broken world full of sin. The devil is roaming around seeking whom he may devour. And he doesn’t care whether you are single or married, he can still use your sexuality to distract you from your relationship with God, to destroy your witness, or cripple your service.
So even if a Christian marries, the struggle to keep God first, honor your marriage, and keep the marriage bed pure is real (Hebrews 13:4).
How do we stay pure even if we are married?
1. Recognize we can’t fight the onslaught of sin on our own. Jesus put it succinctly when He said: “Without me, you can do nothing.”
Humbly seek God’s will and power in everything. Be willing to submit our lives to Him, acknowledging that—as our Creator and Redeemer—He alone knows what is best for us both sexually and relationally. Regardless of what society tells us or what our own desires may scream, we must choose to submit to God, embrace His truth, and conform our lives to it rather than reshaping His truth to fit the way we want to live.
That is why Scripture says:
‘God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.’ Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. … Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up. James 4:6-10 NIV
2. Both husband and wife should strive to be humble, affectionate, and intentional about making sexual encounters mutually satisfying. Ensuring that sex builds the relationship instead of tearing it down. (1 Corinthians 7:3-6)
Sex can never be demanded. Sexual relations are intended to do far more than simply meet a physical need. They are intended to be one of the primary places where oneness is built and strengthened. Where spouses are mutually loving, kind and vulnerable.
By the same token, sex is not to be used as a tool to manipulate a spouse to do things your way. Withholding sex as punishment or only giving it as a reward for behavior deemed acceptable is not biblical. It reduces sexual relations to a transaction rather than a way to build intimacy.
This is why Paul emphasizes that marriage is a mutual commitment to the well-being of your spouse, to meeting their needs for affection and sexual intimacy.
In truth, marriage is the arena where the depth of our selfishness and pride gets exposed most easily and where we realize our great need of God and his transforming power to rid us of these two pillars of our carnal nature.
Gary Thomas captures this idea well in the subtitle of his book Sacred Marriage. “What if God designed marriage to make us holy more than to make us happy.”
Now days, people get married for many reasons, but for a marriage to truly thrive requires genuine submission to God’s transforming power to enable us to learn to love our spouse well in all areas of our relationship. In many respects, marriage becomes one of God’s greatest classrooms, revealing all our failings and teaching us how to love as Christ loves.
1 Corinthians 7:10-16: Divorce and Conversion
Is divorce permitted? Yes. But it was never God’s design or desire for marriage.
Jesus emphasized in Matthew 19:4-6 that in the beginning, God created marriage to unite two people for life. They are to become one flesh. A healthy marriage weaves two lives together so completely that separation inevitably causes deep wounds.
The Pharisees were shocked that Jesus would say this and demanded, “Why then did Moses allow divorce?”
Christ’s response? “Because your hearts were hard” (Matthew 19:8).
Pride and selfishness are the two things most likely to harden our hearts. And if our hearts are hard, divorce is allowed, but not preferable. God prefers we submit to Him and allow Him to soften our hearts and teach us how to love each other as Jesus loves us.
(This is not addressing situations involving abuse. No one should remain in a relationship that threatens their physical safety or involves ongoing emotional, verbal, or sexual abuse. If this describes your situation, seek help and get to a place of safety.)
This admonition is particularly relevant for new converts. If you married and then became a believer, you and your spouse will suddenly discover you have very different worldviews which will cause friction. It will likely be challenging.
Should you get a divorce to make it easier to follow God? That may seem like the easy way out, but it’s not the godly way out.
Jesus did not abandon us when we chose to walk away from Him and follow our own sinful paths. He did everything in His power to demonstrate His love for us so that we would choose to be His forever.
As a believing spouse, you have an opportunity to demonstrate the love of Jesus to your unbelieving spouse. Through your words and actions, God can draw them to seek a relationship with Him for themselves.
But if the unbelieving spouse refuses to remain married and wants a divorce, should you try to force them to stay? No.
Love is never forced. God does not force us to love Him, and we should not attempt to force another person to remain in a relationship against their will. Paul counsels believers to let them go and to live at peace with others as much as it depends on us.
Even then, our responsibility does not end. We can continue to show kindness, grace, and Christlike love in our interactions with them. We are still Christ’s ambassador to them. God may still use our example to draw them closer to Himself.
1 Corinthians 7:17-24 Does conversion require radical change?
If conversion doesn’t change our marital status, it just calls for us to clearly mirror Christ’s character for our unbelieving spouse, then why do we think becoming a believer requires us to move to a foreign country and be a missionary, change our profession, sell all we have, or make some other dramatic life change?
I’m not saying God may not call some people to do these things. But it is not the norm.
When I was growing up, it seemed that there were four professions accepted as God’s design for Christians: pastor, teacher, doctor, or nurse.
So, if someone becomes a Christian, should they automatically assume they need to become a pastor, teacher, doctor, or nurse?
No. Paul’s counsel is to remain where God called you. God is much more concerned that you demonstrate His character and ideals where you are—in your marriage, at your job, and in the city or town where you live—than with changing your circumstances.
There are times, however, your Christian morals and actions will clash so strongly with where you work, you may be asked to leave. Or, you may just find that you can no longer work there with a clear conscience. In that case, with much prayer, seek other opportunities where your ethical values will not be at odds with your assigned duties. You can be sure God will provide another opportunity for you.
Brothers and sisters, each person, as responsible to God, should remain in the situation they were in when God called them. 1 Corinthians 7:24 NIV
1 Corinthians 7:25-40 – Living a God-centered Life
In this section, Paul returns to the question of marriage and singleness, but his emphasis shifts slightly. Earlier he explained that singleness can be a gift because it often allows a person greater freedom to serve God. Here he expands on that thought and explains why.
“The time is short” (1 Corinthians 7:29).
Paul was not setting a date for Christ’s return. Rather, he was reminding believers that this world is temporary. Our lives are brief. The things that consume so much of our attention today will not last forever.
That is why Paul encourages believers not to become so absorbed in the affairs of this life that they lose sight of eternity.
Marriage is a wonderful gift from God, but it comes with additional responsibilities. A husband naturally cares about his wife’s well-being. A wife naturally cares about her husband’s needs. Parents devote enormous amounts of time, energy, and attention to their children. None of these things are wrong. In fact, as Christians, they are part of faithfully living out God’s calling.
The danger comes when even good things begin to crowd God out of first place in our hearts.
This is why Paul says that the unmarried person is often able to focus more fully on serving the Lord. Their attention is less divided by the legitimate concerns that accompany marriage and family life.
But Paul is careful to add that marriage is not a sin.
God does not love single people more than married people. Nor is marriage somehow a second-rate spiritual choice. Throughout Scripture, God blesses both marriage and singleness. The question is not whether one status is holier than the other. The question is whether we are putting God first wherever He has called us.
Paul’s concern is not our marital status but our priorities.
The same principle extends beyond marriage. Careers, possessions, hobbies, accomplishments, and even family relationships can quietly take God’s place in our hearts if we are not careful.
Only one thing will last forever—our relationship with God.
That is why Paul urges believers to live with undivided devotion to the Lord. Whether married or single, young or old, prosperous or struggling, our highest calling remains the same: to love God with our whole heart and to follow Him wherever He leads.
Just as Jesus said when asked which commandment was the most important:
“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’” Mark 12:29-30 NIV
No, it is not a sin to love deeply, to marry and have children, to pursue meaningful work, or to enjoy the blessings God has given you, as long as nothing takes His place in your heart and your love for Him continues to grow.
So maybe discerning God’s will for our lives is less mysterious than we imagine. Every decision we make should be weighed against what matters most: loving Him with our whole heart and putting Him first in every area of life.
Take an honest inventory of your heart. Is there anything competing with God for first place? Is there anything that has become more important than your relationship with Him?
If so, today is a good day to surrender that area to Him and give Him first place again.
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